The bathroom light bulb burned out, and Eric went to go buy a new one.
Simple, right?
In theory, yes.
But, the first shop didn’t have that particular kind of bulb. The next day he went a little further to another shop, but they didn’t have that bulb either. This was strange, because the bulb looked really basic to us. Nothing fancy, nothing specialized about it, so why would two shops be out of this kind of bulb?
That’s when Eric got serious. A few days later, we made a special trip across town to a Philips shop. Professional lighting store, y’all, with lots and lots of bulbs on display. But, still no luck. They didn’t have the bulb we needed.
However, the guy at the shop was kind enough to give us an explanation that ended the search: the light fixture was “fake goods” and it apparently came with its own “fake goods” light bulb. Normal light bulbs would not work. There was only one way to get a new bulb, the Philips guy explained. Contact the landlord and find out where he had purchased the light fixture, then go to that shop (hoping it was still in business) to get another bulb.
After four seconds of careful consideration, Eric decided to go a different route. He simply purchased a new light fixture for about US $7 (making sure it was one that used standard bulbs, of course.) It’s crazy to think that it was EASIER for him to buy and install an entire new light fixture rather than changing the bulb, but, well…welcome to China!
This story reflects just how inconvenient life can be here. What should have been a brainless errand turned into a cross-town hunt. There’s so many examples of things taking more time to accomplish because of speedbumps in the road.
- You go all the way to the train station to buy tickets, only to find out that the ticket windows are all closed for afternoon xiuxi.
- You arrange to meet a friend at a favorite milk tea shop, only to discover that it went out of business two days ago.
- At the bank, you’re told the transaction can’t be done, sorry…but are told at a different branch that it can be done, and the first branch just didn’t know how to do it (and saved face by telling you that it was not possible.)
- You plan for two months to buy bacon in a big city you’re traveling through, but the one store you have time to go to is completely out of bacon.
- Last night, you went to the theater specifically to check the movie schedule, but today when you show up with your kids, you’re told they aren’t showing that film anymore, bu hao yisi.
- The eyeglass shop is “temporarily out of” contact solution, which you eventually learn is code for “we have never carried that item and never will.”
- You order curtains and a mere two weeks later, you’re informed that they don’t actually have the fabric you selected, could you come back and pick out something else?
I could go on and on and on, friends.
Obviously, frustrating things like this happen in my home country, too. (Except for the running out of bacon example.) It’s just that they happen way more often here in China.
In the States, there’s just a whole different culture going on. Everyone expects to be able to look up movie times online. You can check store inventories on websites to save yourself a trip. It’s easy to get phone numbers for companies so you can call and get answers without going across town to ask in person. Life moves fast, and wasting a customer’s time is a sin, so information is publicly available “for your convenience.” That is just how things function there.
Here, people seem to live in a much more in-person world, where you swing by the neighborhood shops on your evening walk, no big deal. Things also shift and flux a lot more, and it’s not a huge thing to suddenly cancel a movie, or decide to open/close a restaurant. Stores aren’t guaranteed to keep things in stock, even if they’re large, international chains. Life moves more slowly, and having to come back later is not the end of the world. And this is just how things function here.
I’m glad I’ve learned that. I’ve come to expect that, at least the first time I try to do a particular errand, it’s going to take at least two trips on two different days. If I’m successful the first try, yee-haw! If not, I’m not stressed or frustrated, because I was still planning on (at least) a second attempt.
So, I guess the answer to the joke is: just one foreigner, but it may take him a few tries to get the right one.
7 crazy quirks that make our apartment…special
May 4, 2015 at 10:20 pm
Oh, I SO can relate to this entry. Thank you for putting into words what we find in the world we live in on this side of the ocean. It’s often difficult to communicate this to those back home who zip in and out of the bank in 5-7 minutes; much different from our up-to-2 hour-wait here.
May 4, 2015 at 10:44 pm
You are welcome, Dawn! (And I haven’t even gotten to what it’s like when the water and/or power go out.)
May 4, 2015 at 11:35 pm
It may happen less frequently in the states, but it’s still funny and unexpected…a friend just posted a photo of store shelves with (gasp) no bacon!
May 5, 2015 at 7:59 am
No way! That’s hilarious that it happened just as I wrote this post. What are the chances? If your favorite milk tea shop closes next, we’ll know we’re all in the middle of some weird Agatha Christie plot.
May 5, 2015 at 12:23 am
You are able to describe it so well! It’s hard to think how to explain “what it’s like” in China day-to-day. But this is a clear-cut example that is so true!!
May 5, 2015 at 8:05 am
Thanks, Laurel! I’m glad to have captured what it’s like to live here. I think it really is hard to imagine if you’ve never lived here. Things happen that you honestly would never have thought could exist in the world. Mass taxi shift change, for one.
May 5, 2015 at 9:19 am
The whole time I read this post I kept nodding my head in agreement. “Yup, I have had that happen to me” “Yes, that’s a normal part of life here”. “I know exactly what she is talking about.” Thanks for articulating it so well.
May 5, 2015 at 6:34 pm
I’m glad you enjoyed the post and can relate, Karen.
May 5, 2015 at 9:19 am
Mass taxi shift change…in the middle of rush hour. Ours is not to question “why.”
May 5, 2015 at 6:36 pm
Ha! Exactly.
May 10, 2015 at 8:09 am
That might explain why once a light in our house goes out, new bulbs never work in them. We are counting down the days until we move (62) hoping that the last light, in the bathroom, makes it, because that’s a room I’d rather not buy a lamp for.
Thankfully, in our big city, we can usually check theater times online, but only 2 days in advance, and most of the time they’re right when they say a film is in English. But we did end up watching Turbo in Chinese because the kids would have been devastated if we had left, so I just amused myself listening to the Chinese version of Indianapolis. (Yin di an na po li si.)
What about when your electricity goes out on day ten after they changed your electricity meter when they told you to wait ten days to go get a new card, so you wait overnight with no electricity til the place opens the next day and then travel 45 minutes to a part of the city you’ve never seen, where they issue a new card and then tell you you have to go another few kilometers away to actually put money on it the first time, because no, you can’t do it at the bank or the convenience store or any of the state grids anywhere near your house. Sigh. Somehow I still love living here.
May 10, 2015 at 8:24 am
April, these are all great stories of the reality of living here! Thank you so much for sharing.
It’s funny, because we were doing the exact same thing in our last apartment, hoping a certain light would last until we moved. Our burnt out (drat!) but thankfully, that one was easy to replace. Here’s hoping yours makes it until your move.
“Somehow I still love living here.” YES!
May 15, 2015 at 12:23 pm
Drat! Ha ha!!!
May 15, 2015 at 1:24 pm
Drat, indeed. 🙂